Check out Tuukka's "I don't care about anything" face. Pretty cute on him. The title of my post is an exaggeration, but now that you're here, let me explain what I'm thinking. As you know, I work with teenagers, and I'm always floored by how much of their energy and attention goes into paying attention to what others think about them.
Here's a short list of things I get to do because I don't care if they're cool or make me look smart:
- wear lots of sparkles
- read romance novels
- laugh aloud at puns and tell "dad" jokes
- carry fruit snacks with me at all times
- knit in meetings
- swap out my shoelaces for bungee-cords
- admit what I don't know
- correct my mistakes openly
- apologize when I fall short/take wrong turns
And here's why I get to do these things: I realized a long time ago that I'd rather spend time with the people who don't care if I'm cool than the people who do. For the teenagers reading this, I've got a bonus fact here. Most of your peers are thinking about themselves, not about you. Imagine what the under-twenty crowd could accomplish is they shut off the I-want-you-to-think-I'm-cool part of their brains and used only the other parts (which have way more synapses firing than my older brain does). They could end/reverse climate change, create a just government and social support systems, end poverty, invent candy with the health benefits of broccoli. Think of how much fun people could have getting dressed each day if they chose each item based only on its comfort and ability to make themselves smile.
I'm not advocating selfishness or solipsism, just that we change our definitions of "cool" from one that forces us into little boxes to one that opens up all the possibilities.
I do care what you think...and hope you'll share your thoughts in the comments.
I believe in God. I say this under the freedom of not needing to look cool or fit in. Since I believe God is good and loving and true, I do care what God thinks but it certainly helps me not care so much about appearing one way or another.
So whatever you believe, it is a beautiful thing to know that caring for others, being kind, listening more, and finding common ground is more important than shouting and appearing perfect. Thank you, Carita, for the reminder!
Hi Kristine, Thanks for the comment (and sorry to take a few days to approve of it — I think now that I’ve approved this one of yours, you won’t have to be approved for future comments). Yes, I agree that having a set of values to which to stay true (and I like that list you give) helps quiet the background noise.
I think you’re cool and getting cooler all the time!
Thanks. I’ve always held you as my model of cool.
I love how cool people become to you when you get beyond just how they look or what they wear and get to their insights, interests and good acts for the good of others! When we don’t seek out what’s cool about another person, we miss out–and that’s not cool.
Well said, Brenda. Yes, my teenaged “cool” list had so many things that don’t matter to me now. Being curious about people allows us to find what makes each person interesting/cool.