[I took the photo above from Contractor website.]
Some people have said to me, in the comments on my blog and in person, how impressed they are with my thoughtful attention to the words I use or don't use when I'm speaking. They're assuming that because I've published an essay about how much I deplore the word "just" or the phrase "at least," that I don't use those words. I just can't, but at least I try to. Instead, I hear them coming out of my mouth and want to do a full Homer Simpson "Doh!"
In fact, many of my posts are aspirational. I fully believe everything I write but know that I need to work to embody those beliefs. If I want to make something true for others, I have to convince them. If I want to make something true about myself, I have to name the goal in order to work toward it. Think about any goal:
- If we don't know where we want to go, we can't take steps in the right direction.
- If we don't figure out who we want to become, we can't plan the transformation.
- If we don't look at the target and understand the throw, we can't aim.
I've written about to-do lists and baby steps and other approaches to getting things done. I posit that writing one's beliefs can be its own form of goal-setting. Once I explained to you, loyal and new readers, everything I didn't like about the word just, I became more cognizant of it in my vocabulary. I still say it sometimes, but have moved closer to its elimination.
Have you written out your beliefs and aspirations? Feel free to post them in the comments below or to send me emails. Once they're in writing, you might find them easier to remember and act on.
[And on another note entirely, if you happen to see/talk with my firstborn daughter tomorrow, please wish her a very happy birthday!]
There is some tension between goal setting/planning on one hand, and attending to the unexpected serendipitous. A number of inventions were errors or unplanned events, eg vulcanized rubber comes to mind. Holding on v Letting go. And when the context changes, sometimes one needs to also change to kinda remain semi-constant. We create a complicated world.
Good point. We can’t plan for everything. Even for those of us who want to make wide-open plans, 2020 taught us (and continues to teach us) that we really can’t know what challenges and opportunities will come our way. We absolutely need to change, keep moving to stay in place. Complicated indeed!
I love this approach to goal setting and I’m a huge fan of baby steps! We’re all a work in progress. Can I add that taking an accurate assessment of where you’re starting from is also important–not the social media idealized version, but a real honest, non-judgmental awareness of where you are today so that you can plot your journey to where you want to go. And that starting point includes beliefs and aspirations as you wisely point out.
Just a thought… (couldn’t resist)
Love this, Mary. Yes, if we don’t know where we are, we can’t figure out how to get where we’re going. Smart!
Hugs, Carita
I enjoyed reading it and applaud the determination of living what you write about. I also agree with Mary’s comment about the starting point. There is a recommendation in some cultures that to have a full effect on the others for your saying or advice; you are better off to practice it at least 40 days yourself before you talk about it or give advice about it. I think it is not easy to follow this recommendation, and if it was practiced firmly, there might not be many inspirational podcasts, blogs, books, etc.
What a neat idea, Hasan. I definitely try to start for myself, but I haven’t gotten to count the days. I often find that writing about why I want to change a behavior of mine helps me to remember to pivot when I start doing the thing I don’t want to do. I write my posts ahead of time, so I’m thinking that I probably have been trying for myself for over a month by the time my posts go into the blogosphere. Thanks, Carita
Reading your WWs often recall for me the wise words of Kwai Chang Caine, “Expect the unexpected.“
Thanks.
Thank YOU for reading them! Of course, if you ever want to expect one, you could write a guest post…