The cartoon above was the first one to pop up in my image search for reframe. The article, which I've linked to the photo above, once again shows that every time I have an idea, someone else has thought of it first and written about it better. I don't let that fact stop me because I enjoy writing about my ideas. Reading their essays as helpful research in my writing process, and writing them forces me to think the ideas through. I try not to think of external factors as problems.
Which is, in some ways, the point of this week's post. Quite frequently, life goes in ways I didn't hope for. Daily, I have to do things I don't want to do to continue to be a contributing member of society. Not every chore I must tackle is as unambiguously fun as eating gummy bears and reading rom-coms.
But when I face my to-do list of adulting activities or when I experience something I'm inclined to view as a setback, I'm reminded of a conversation I had with a dear friend almost thirty years ago. In fact, I wrote this post a while ago but decided to have it go live on August second because the friend of whom I speak celebrated her birthday yesterday. (HBD and Hello, AS! I'm sending you good thoughts!)
I had my friend over for dinner and after we ate, I probably said something snarky about the joys of cleaning up without a dishwasher. My friend, in all seriousness, said that she didn't mind washing dishes. At my look of total disbelief, she said that she found having her hands in warm, soapy water relaxing. She noted that she could listen to music or talk with people while doing dishes, or she could let her mind wander. Her description of the job made it sound soothing to me, and all these years later, I still don't mind doing dishes after a meal.
I'm not trying to hold myself out there as a shining example of positivity and light, but I've had other aha moments about reframing that have helped me enjoy what I used to dread. When I look for the plus sides to things, I can usually find them, and once I find the plusses, the minuses don't bother me so much.
Have you been able to reframe activities you used to see as chores? Please share any examples in the comments. Equally, if there's a task you loathe, maybe you can ask about it in the comments and we caritagardiner.com readers can try to suggest reframes that might help.
When I offered to do the dishes at Aunt Rockie’s once (also probably 30 years ago), she declined by saying it was her “hydrotherapy.” I always wondered if she meant it or if she just thought I’d do a lousy job!
I love this. I’ve never called washing dishes hydrotherapy, but that’s a great reframe because it makes it more fun for me and even less likely that my guest will think I’m suffering. Clever Rockie!
I have health problems looming in my future, but I try to focus on today and all the good times that I’m enjoying now.
I love Viveca’s “hydrotherapy “ story.
I like this idea of thinking more about how we can enjoy today than all the things that will and can or could go wrong in the future. In particular, if we know we’re likely to lose the ability to do certain things, maybe those should be among the activities we try to enjoy extra in the now.
I find folding laundry one of the most tedious, unsatisfying, never ending tasks. But, I let myself binge Netflix to my heart’s content while I do it. If it’s a really good series, I find myself actually looking forward to laundry folding.
I’m right there with you! I often watch shows when I cook meals, too. Gretchen Rubin calls this technique “pairing.” She recommends that people watch the shows they like ONLY when they’re working out or doing some other activity they wouldn’t do otherwise.
When I empty the dishwasher early in the morning when I’m the only one awake, I visualize it as a ballet or martial art like Taichung. The more graceful my movements, the more fun this otherwise mundane task becomes se a result of this reframing.
I can picture that movement and love it. I will give the dance a try!