Today's post is the second in a five-part series inspired by "The Happiness Lab" with Dr. Laurie Santos. In the episode linked to the photo above (I recommend taking the time to listen to the whole thing, but you don't need to do that before reading my post.), Santos discusses five happiness stumbling blocks. The second one has to do with taking perspective over time.
Instead of getting angry about the mistakes past Carita has made that present Carita has to deal with or committing to all the events future Carita will be delighted to attend even though present Carita doesn't have the time or the inclination, the episode encourages me to think about all three Caritas in one. Of course, the only Carita I can control is present Carita, who needs to give grace to past Carita and balance the needs of future Carita.
How hard and important to see and embrace all of our selves at the same time.
If we put all of our focus on what we have or haven't done or said in the past, we live in regret for our failures or glory for our successes. Either way, we miss out on what's available to us right now. Yes, we need to learn from our earlier selves, but once we take those actions and earn their consequences, we're not the same people we then were.
At the same time, if we spend all of our time preparing ourselves for future glory, we are likely to miss out on present joy. If I see everything as a stepping stone to a higher height with a better view, I won't bother to look up and look around (thanks, LR, for that phrase) at the great or interesting place I am now. I might fail to see who's walking by my side, might miss the music playing the soundtrack to my steps, might not smell the flowers lining the path.
The key is to combine these three selves in a balance of learning from the past and planning for the future while getting the most out of the present. I know, easier said than done.
As always, this post is aspirational. Anyone reading have any suggestions for how to merge our timelines into a perfect present life? Please share your suggestions in the comments.