If you want to buy the sign above, you can get it at safetysign.com.
I've mentioned in other posts and most of my students from the past decade or so know that I offer time for a short check-in near the beginning of every class and that I encourage students not to complain during that time. I tell them that if they can't think of anything positive to say, they can share something they're grateful for. I got the idea for imposing my good-vibes-only rule after the Hillel announced that when we did "rose-bud-thorn" at weekly Shabbat dinners, the thorn couldn't be about sleep, stress, or homework. The spirit of the constraint comes from Shawn Achor's TED talk's thesis that the lens through which people view the world (rather than any objective facts about our environments or situations) creates our realities, that brains work better when positive than they do when negative, neutral or stressed, and that we get to decide what lens we use.
Before I put in the limitation, I observed that many students would use the opportunity to gripe about having too much work. What, I wonder, did they think coming to a highly selective school would entail? Mocktails and movie-watching? Even with the restriction, students often share veiled negatives. They might say
something like the following:
- I have only one more class today.
- I'm looking forward to the weekend.
- I didn't have a lot of homework last night.
- I got a class cut in X subject.
These sentences may sound positive on first listen, but they're not. What they all show is valuing free time more than the fundamental work of being a student. These sentences reveal that they'd rather spend time doing what's easy than pushing themselves, doing what they know and chose rather than what someone with more experience wants to guide them to learn. But by staying within our easy and our comfortable, we don't develop. We get lazy. We waste away our lives, and we can choose to make developing enjoyable.
When students offer truly positive check-ins, I rejoice. It's so much fun to hear sentences such as these:
- I was struggling with something hard in math, but I think I did well on the test last period.
- Our theater production is coming along well. We might be off-book by the end of the week.
- I'm looking forward to Saturday's game against SchoolName because they beat us last time, but I think we have a chance against them now that we've been working on our defense/offense/three-point shots/starts and turns/etc.
- Big things coming. (This one is for two of my former students -- Hi, MT and HM! -- who created a new club at Hotchkiss and gave this same check-in for many days in a row until the premiere of HTV's first episodes.)
These kinds of comments value the process, even the effort. Students who speak this way are rewiring their brains and attitudes to connect hard work with rewards.
If we spend our time whinging, we're training ourselves to spot the negative. The more we seek positive things to say, the more we will wire our brains for the better. What techniques do you employ to keep your focus on what serves your happiness, efficiency, and wellbeing? Please share your ideas and suggestions in the comments.
(Also, if you see/contact my first born on Friday, please wish her a happy birthday. I love you, kiddo!)
I often observe that negativity is contagious, especially from personal experience. We hear everyone around us lamenting the negative aspects of their lives—work, stress, sleep, etc.—and our herd mentality compels us to likewise focus in on that negativity, and it skews our perceptions of life. It’s also a cycle: negativity adversely impacts performance, which only fosters more negativity. I love the idea of rewiring our brains to fall out of that cycle.
Thanks, Parth! I have noted that you act as a force for positivity on campus, and I’m grateful. You are rewiring your own brain AND those around you!
This is a very good reminder!
Thanks. I need it often!