267. Why the Messy Middle

Don't you love great before and after photos in glossy magazines? Or the makeover montage in a light movie? I do, and I also love reading the meet cutes and happily ever afters of every romance novel I pick up. Even knowing that the path from A to Z isn't supposed to be a straight and easy one, I sometimes allow myself to get bogged down in the messy middle.

Logically, my brain knows that many workers spent lots of long days of back-aching effort to get that new kitchen to the shiny state it's in. Lots of shirts have to get thrown onto the floor/bed in a fit of frustration to find that last one that looks great. And those two protagonists had to go through shenanigans and had to hit a low moment during which it seemed nearly impossible that things would work out for them. It is, in fact, only because of this effort and despair that the after images and happy endings are as lovely and rewarding as they are. If perfection were easy, who would care about attaining it? If we all knew the best approach to take on every challenge and that plan would guarantee success, where would be the fun in life?

On the worthy podcast "We Can Do Hard Things" with Glennon Doyle, Amanda Doyle, and Abby Wambach, the hosts often remind listeners that we humans are works-in-progress at all times. We're all always in the messy middle, they posit, so let's enjoy being here and make the most of it.

Yes, we should aim to become the after image in terms of every struggle we're facing, but we need to remember that today's fashion is tomorrow's flops. Today's perfect kitchen will tomorrow need repairs. And as great as Happily Ever After is in the last paragraphs of a novel, the "ever after" part is a long time in real life. We may be lucky enough to find our special people, but we can't flip past or skim over the hard parts in life. Instead, we can learn to love the messy middle and to keep working for ever after toward new versions of happy.

What's your best messy middle story? Want to share it in the comments?