I have a complicated history with the word like. As an English teacher, I've tried to help many students learn to avoid using it as a filler. I've had "like police" and "like jars" and "like competitions," some of which have helped people notice when they say it, but none of which probably had any lasting effect, though I have gotten a few fun emails over the years from former students who have noticed how many like-rs (likers? like-ers? maybe just people who say like) are out there. Even if I get distracted by the number of like's a kid is using in each sentence, I've found that unless I point it out, the other students don't notice. I supposed it's similar to living next to train tracks or an airport. The noise that seems noxious to those listening for it becomes background sound to those who inhabit the space full-time, no more annoying than the incessant buzz of an overhead light. Sometimes, when I enter a room, the class before has left its smell; by ten minutes into my class, I can't distinguish any odor. We grow accustomed to the environments we inhabit. Like's float in high-school like air, everywhere but largely unnoticed. (Please note that if you want to learn about the word like in a grammatical sense, you should look at the Conventions of Composition website, rule 200, linked here.)
But the word like isn't what inspired this essay. No, I've been thinking about the act of clicking the like button on people's posts on social media. For me, hitting the like thumbs up or heart can mean any of many things:
- I like you as a person.
- I find this photo or video lovely.
- I support your cause.
- I agree that your babies/hedgehogs are cute.
- I feel the same outrage/joy as you do.
- I hear and acknowledge what you're going through.
I like almost every post I see, but hitting a little heart or thumbs up symbol doesn't give any information about which one of these reasons it means. (I never like photos of underage people with Solo cups or bottles/glasses of anything that looks like alcohol. Why, oh why would you post those? Please stop.)
Of course, the like button (even with its variations of sad-face, angry-face, wow-face, etc) is, at best, a blunt tool. It certainly does not mean that I agree with everything a person is saying or everything that everyone says in the comments about what that person is saying. For example, if a person posts a story about something horrible that happened to him/her/them, my like doesn't mean I'm glad that horrible thing happened; my like might mean, I hear you and am sorry you had to go through that.
I have been cautioned about hitting like on controversial posts, first by a friend, then by one of my bosses, and most recently by my daughter. It was my daughter's suggestion that had the greatest effect on me. First, I love and respect her and have learned to listen carefully when she steps in to give me advice. Second, she's a different generation than I am, part of a group who grew up with social media as I did not. She told me that people her age look at and care about other people's likes. Yes, they look at other people's posts' likes. I am floored that people spend their time this way, but if she says it, it's true. Some of her friends told her that I had clicked like on some of the @blackhotchkiss posts and also liked some of the posts of people celebrating on July 4. They saw those acts as contradictory, and I get her point. By supporting everyone's posts equally, I was, in effect, responding to #BLM with #ALM, which is NOT my goal. (To be clear, AL can't M until BLM!)
I fall very solidly into believing that our country has a lot of work to do. It has been part of my blinded privilege to like people's posts equally, ignoring that what "liberty and justice for all" has meant in this country is not the same for everyone.
I'm not fully sure I can unlearn my habit of double tapping on every post I see, but I hear my daughter's complaint, and, well, she's right. If I used to like everything you posted, but now I pick and choose, you'll know why. From now on, I'll try to remember that some people will read the little red heart with my name next to it to mean that my heart is with what this post stands for. If that image shows a cute baby or a work of art or a beautiful sunset or your engagement/anniversary/recovery photos, my heart is with you. However, if you're celebrating something I can't support, I'm going to try to remember to keep my heart for other posts.
As you can tell, these thoughts aren't fully formed. I'm open to hearing your advice. Have your likes ever been read in a way you didn't intend? What do you think about like and like-ing? Please share your thoughts in the comments.
That a “like” can be traceable is news to me. I am aware that a “hit” on a posting can reveal the source. We are not alone.
On another topic, my effort to remove IT from my writing can chew up a bit of time, but I am grateful to recognize the problem.
Yes, Jean and Bill, people (maybe only the ones younger than we are) seem to be ever vigilant about who’s liking what posts. And also yes, that “it” is a pernicious one. Most of us have a hard time noticing when “it” has a clear antecedent and when “it” floats in the breeze.
As always, thanks for reading. See you tomorrow, Carita
Your grammar guide is kind to include only higher level “like” errors. You don’t even address the two I find most grating:
1. “Like” to mean “say” or “think” (sometimes preceded by “all”), presumably so that the speaker can avoid clarifying whether she in fact means “say” or “think.” Sometimes even the “like” is omitted. Example: he was all: “you’re mixing up ‘like’ and ‘as,’ ” and I was like: “whoa, don’t tell me how to differentiate noun and verb comparisons!”
2. To mean nothing at all, just pure filler. Like, I don’t know.
You’re absolutely correct (as always). The guide is more for writing than for speaking. Both of the errors you’ve listed (which are brutal, I agree) happen more in speaking than in writing. I should probably update the website to include the spoken problems as well. Thanks!