40. Why I Got Duped

I've been debating writing this post, but Google Analytics (which I check daily) assures me that most days, nobody looks at my website. If past performance is an indicator of future results, maybe two people will read this post. Ever.

All this to say, I'm thinking of my blog as a private journal, a safe place to vent my embarrassment and frustration and insecurity. Of course, if I ever get a book published and people read it and come to this website and read the posts far back into the past to see this one, well, then I'll be embarrassed all over again. Future mortification seems worth it to vent today. Moreover, maybe I can help one or two of you who will read this post to avoid ending up with a similar feeling. That would be wonderful.

The short version of the story is that I took on too much. I wanted to be the person who gets things done, who's got it all under control, whom others can count on. When my family was planning our upcoming trip to visit my older daughter on her semester abroad program in Copenhagen, I said I'd be the one to book the rooms. I spent a lot of time looking at places on AirBnB. When I forwarded one that looked nice to me, two family members noted that the beds seemed narrow. (I am NOT blaming them for what I did next.) Then, another place appeared in the website. This place had space to spare. It had four bedrooms and three bathrooms. The host was noted as a super host. The apartment cost the same as other flats, but had an elevator and a view. The photos made it look lovely.

Well, have you ever heard that line, "If it looks too good to be true, it probably is"? Fact. I contacted the host and got a message back that yes, the place was still available. He wrote back that he had to check with his business partner. Then, rather than get messages on the AirBnB website, I got separate emails. They came from this address ([email protected]), which I write so that if the jerk/criminal is still using it, you'll know. (Note that if you use AirBnB, which I love, you should complete ALL transactions ON THE SITE.)

The off-the-platform emails, I now realize, should have been a clue to me that something was wrong. I kept going.

I ended up "booking" the apartment, but instead of paying through the AirBnB website, as I've always done, I paid through TransferWise to a site that had the AirBnB logo and name. I even paid an extra "refundable deposit" to this creep. I know now that I should have stopped to question why payment didn't go through the usual channels on the official site, but I was stressed. I was tired of this task. I wanted to check "find an apartment" off my to-do list. I wanted to swoop in and accomplish what others didn't have time for.

Now, I feel stupid. I feel manipulated. I feel annoyed. We don't have money to squander, but I just transferred a lot of what we do have to a criminal, a person I will never meet, somebody who games the system to take advantage of people like me.

Does it help me to HATE this person? No, I know that. I don't feel better by hoping that very bad things happen to him/her/them.

I'm left feeling icky. People like this jerk exist. While I know that most people are good, I have encountered one (or a group, for all I know) who isn't a good person. I'm left feeling sad in a bigger way than the number of dollars I threw away.

On the plus side, I contacted my credit card company, Capital One. They've been great. They will help me dispute the claim through TransferWise. I highly recommend Capital One customer service.

So that's a long rant. Maybe somebody out there has a similar story. I hope not. Maybe if we share our stories, we can prevent new versions of this scam from happening to others. That's my hope. At the end of the day, hope is better than regret. What do you think?